If you can ignore the potentially lethal kicking legs, milking a cow is easy once you know how.
Use a neck harness and a leg harness to keep the cow from kicking, to protect both yourself and your pail of milk.
Distract the cow with some fresh hay.
Wash the teats with antibacterial soap and pat them dry.
Prior to filling the pail, squeeze a little milk out of each teat with your thumb and forefinger.
The udder has to be stimulated a little before the cow’s milk “lets down,” or begins to flow.
Curl your forefinger around the teat, and roll downward while pressing against your thumb on the other side of the teat. The movement needs to simulate a calf sucking on the teat.
If your pail is typical, about five gallons, it will take almost 350 squirts to fill it.
With your help, a cow can fill about one of these pails a day.