How much Velcro would it take to stick a person on a wall?

Given the fuzzy pajamas that babies are wont to wear, we’ve often thought that panels of Velcro around the house would be a great way to get them off the floor and out of the way.

Unfortunately, the good people at Child Protective Services had other opinions.

But an adult? Let’s consider David Letterman as our prototype, since he’s the one who popularized the concept many years ago, and assume he weighs about 175 pounds.

According to a Caltech analysis, the best grade of Velcro (yes, there are grades) will hold from 10 to 14 pounds for every square inch of Velcro.

If you can figure out a way to firmly and completely place your body mass against the wall, you could theoretically get by with as little as thirteen square inches of Velcro, —smaller than a square four inches by four inches.

Unfortunately, that’s a theoretical number that will only work when laying one flat surface against another. Since your body is irregular and rounded, we’d spring for more Velcro if we were you.