Armadillos are small placental mammals that can be found throughout the Americas.
Unfortunately, most of the armadillo’s defenses are completely unsuitable for dealing with cars.
One of its strategies is to roll up into a protective ball completely surrounded by its armor, which can save it from a variety of natural things, but not an SUV.
Another response is to dig straight into the ground, which it can do with remarkable speed in almost any soil type, but not, unfortunately, blacktop.
Still another strategy is to leap straight up into the air, which doesn’t save the armadillo, but at least gives it the small victory of making a wicked dent in a car’s front grill.
Parody of George Strait’s “Amarillo By Morning”
Armadillo I’m mourning
Died in San Antone
Everything that you got
Is just spread around
Son jumped high in the Texas sky
You were bucking when my car did scare
Armadillo I’m mourning
Armadillo I do care
Used for a saddle in Houston
Broke your plate in Santa Fe
Picked up New World leprosy somewhere along the way
Your mate is great
She gave birth to eight
Though I know they’re all born blind
Armadillo I’m mourning
Armadillo’s on my mind
Armadillo I’m mourning
Died in San Antone
Everything that you got
Is just spread around
I ain’t got a dime to pay no roadkill fine
For makin’ your soul go free
Armadillo I’m mourning
Armadillo just let me be